It was a sight to behold. Each army is on either side of the battle field. There is a silence; a calmness stretches across the battlefield. The dirt remains untouched by blood and footprints. On one side stands Arjuna, Dhrishtadyumna, Yudhishthira, Krishna, Abhimayu, an Bhima. The weather is cold so Arjuna's heavy breathes can be seen in front of his face, causing the landscape to become foggy with each exahale. On the other side stands Karna, Drona, Shalya, Duhshasana, and Ashwatthaman. Drona is ready to attack. A thumping noise begins to fill the silence. Slowly increasing in speed and volume. It is Drona's heart.
Thump..... Thump....Thump...Thump. Thump. Thump Thump Thump.
As Drona's heart beat faster, the anticipation and adrenaline increased on both sides. Finally, Drona took one deep breathe and the thumping stopped.
Silence
This silence lasted what felt like hours, but was only a few seconds long. Drona formed a smirk on his face making direct eye contact with Arjuna. Arjuna did the same. Then, without any words to be said, the armies broke the silence with their footsteps as the bounded toward one another.
The soldiers clashed with one another and the fighting commenced. Blood begins to scatter across the dirt which was being turned to into a dark black mud. Bodies start to fall as the chaos increases.
Arjuna is seen attacking bodies one by one. He is untouchable. There is a moments rest when he has defeated everyone in his immediate surrounding. He looks up to see Drona destroying everything in his path. He must be stopped. Just as Arjuna begins to charge toward Drona, he hears Bhima shout that Ashwatthaman (Drona's son), has been killed.
Drona's head snaps in the direction of the voice. Anger fills his heart, but is soon replaced by defeat. He searches the battlefield for his son, but he cannot be found. He knows he has lost. Drona falls to the ground, his landing causing the earth the shake. Everything stops.
Silence once again fills the air.
Quiet sobs begin to come from Drona, but they do not last for long. Drona looks up to find the man who killed his son, but just as he finds Bhima, his vision goes black. Dhrishtadyumna stands behind Drona with a bloodied sword. Drona's head falls from his body and hits the ground. He is defeated.
Authors Note: I took the final battle of the Mahabharata and tried to make it into a more dark and graphic battle. When reading it I pictured Game of Thrones and tried to write it in a way that gave that same feeling.
Bibliography: Mahabharata, R.K. Narayan. Book
Thump..... Thump....Thump...Thump. Thump. Thump Thump Thump.
As Drona's heart beat faster, the anticipation and adrenaline increased on both sides. Finally, Drona took one deep breathe and the thumping stopped.
Silence
This silence lasted what felt like hours, but was only a few seconds long. Drona formed a smirk on his face making direct eye contact with Arjuna. Arjuna did the same. Then, without any words to be said, the armies broke the silence with their footsteps as the bounded toward one another.
The soldiers clashed with one another and the fighting commenced. Blood begins to scatter across the dirt which was being turned to into a dark black mud. Bodies start to fall as the chaos increases.
Arjuna is seen attacking bodies one by one. He is untouchable. There is a moments rest when he has defeated everyone in his immediate surrounding. He looks up to see Drona destroying everything in his path. He must be stopped. Just as Arjuna begins to charge toward Drona, he hears Bhima shout that Ashwatthaman (Drona's son), has been killed.
Drona's head snaps in the direction of the voice. Anger fills his heart, but is soon replaced by defeat. He searches the battlefield for his son, but he cannot be found. He knows he has lost. Drona falls to the ground, his landing causing the earth the shake. Everything stops.
Silence once again fills the air.
Quiet sobs begin to come from Drona, but they do not last for long. Drona looks up to find the man who killed his son, but just as he finds Bhima, his vision goes black. Dhrishtadyumna stands behind Drona with a bloodied sword. Drona's head falls from his body and hits the ground. He is defeated.
(The Final Battle. Source: Wikimedia)
Authors Note: I took the final battle of the Mahabharata and tried to make it into a more dark and graphic battle. When reading it I pictured Game of Thrones and tried to write it in a way that gave that same feeling.
Bibliography: Mahabharata, R.K. Narayan. Book
Hi Jacob! I think you did a really great job making the battle more vivid and graphic for the reader. One thing I liked in particular was that you used font sizing to emphasize the thumping of Drona's heart. Super cool style! It works really well. Also, I thought of Game of Thrones while I read this, so mission accomplished!
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob! I really like the way you have rewrote the final battle from the Mahabharata. You have a really good sense of where to put things and how to depict them to give the reader different feelings while reading. For instance, your use of the different changing font sizes to show the sound of Drona's heart getting louder. Then also by breaking the story up into different lines to show different parts of the story and also giving the reader a way to form a mental picture, like when you added the word "silence" by itself in a separate line. Overall I think your story is wrote well and is easy for the reader to follow.
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob,
ReplyDeleteThe imagery and the way that you tell the story is amazing. I thoroughly enjoy reading your stories. They are always a delight. You really drew the reader in with the way that you re-imagined the story. I wouldn't know the first thing about writing a fight scene and build up the amount of angst you did. Overall a great story.