A family of five stand in the long line at the Mexico/US border trying to get through. The mother asks the father if he has the correct paperwork needed to cross through. They believe there will be no issue as they are only seeking refuge in the states. With anticipation they wait. Longer and longer as the sun beats down overhead. Finally, after about six hours waiting, their turn comes.
The border patrol asks for their paperwork. He stares at it for a long time as if trying to find something wrong with it. Eventually he hands it back to them and tells them to pass. The children start to get excited, but the mother tells them to calm down. They are not in the clear until the border is no longer in sight.
As they begin the cross the bridge by foot, they are stopped by another patrol. He tells them to come over for a random inspection. The father does not know what they are going to inspect. All they have are the clothes on their backs.
The officer searches each one of them, even the four-year-old child. When they are finished searching, he asks to see the paperwork. Rather than arguing that it had already been approved, the father gave it to him. He looked at it for no more than a few seconds before saying that there is an error and that the family could not cross. The mother tried to plead her family's case, but there was no use. They were sent back into Mexico.
They began walking back, but had no where to go. As they were walking back, a man approached them. He explained that he saw what had happened at the border and told them he had a solution. He told them to follow him and they did. They had nothing else to lose.
They walked for a long time until the man stopped. He turned to them and told them to keep following the trail before them and they will end up safely in the US. It would lead them to a town where they can begin their new life. One of the children asked why the man could not go with them, and he replied that because he needs to finish the task at hand.
Before the the man ran off an left the family to continue walking, he gave them all the money he had. They did not want to accept it, bu he insisted, saying that he will not need it anymore. They began to walk. They walked and walked until they finally made it to the town the man had spoken of. They had made it to the United States. Their first stop was a restaurant so they could get some food and water. As they were eating, one of the children pointed at the TV on the wall. It was the man that had saved them. He was arrested at the border because he was trying to distract the border patrol. He had sacrificed his life so the family could make it to refuge.
The border patrol asks for their paperwork. He stares at it for a long time as if trying to find something wrong with it. Eventually he hands it back to them and tells them to pass. The children start to get excited, but the mother tells them to calm down. They are not in the clear until the border is no longer in sight.
As they begin the cross the bridge by foot, they are stopped by another patrol. He tells them to come over for a random inspection. The father does not know what they are going to inspect. All they have are the clothes on their backs.
The officer searches each one of them, even the four-year-old child. When they are finished searching, he asks to see the paperwork. Rather than arguing that it had already been approved, the father gave it to him. He looked at it for no more than a few seconds before saying that there is an error and that the family could not cross. The mother tried to plead her family's case, but there was no use. They were sent back into Mexico.
They began walking back, but had no where to go. As they were walking back, a man approached them. He explained that he saw what had happened at the border and told them he had a solution. He told them to follow him and they did. They had nothing else to lose.
They walked for a long time until the man stopped. He turned to them and told them to keep following the trail before them and they will end up safely in the US. It would lead them to a town where they can begin their new life. One of the children asked why the man could not go with them, and he replied that because he needs to finish the task at hand.
Before the the man ran off an left the family to continue walking, he gave them all the money he had. They did not want to accept it, bu he insisted, saying that he will not need it anymore. They began to walk. They walked and walked until they finally made it to the town the man had spoken of. They had made it to the United States. Their first stop was a restaurant so they could get some food and water. As they were eating, one of the children pointed at the TV on the wall. It was the man that had saved them. He was arrested at the border because he was trying to distract the border patrol. He had sacrificed his life so the family could make it to refuge.
Authors Note: This story was a modern take on the Great Elephant Jataka. The elephant sacrificed himself for a group of men trying to escape a terrible leader. I thought this story would work really well in a modern sense and so I decided to make it about seeking refuge in the US. It may be a bit of a controversial story, but I enjoyed writing it and making the story have modern implications.
Image: US Border. Source: Flickr
Bibliography: Twenty Jataka Tales
Hi, Jacob! I really enjoyed your story. You really do a great of creating the suspense and fear that I can only imagine these families go through. I think you did a really great job of taking this story and putting it in a very realistic and modern setting. I think involving the kids in the story adds a new level of empathy for the reader. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob! Good job with this story. I like the way the curiosity builds up inside the reader and the mystery gradually keeps building up throughout the story you have written. I feel like this story portrays a sense of safety and it shows what our country is at today with immigration and border passing. It really binds the jataka with real life events and I like the idea of doing so! Good job with this one!
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob, I was unfamiliar with the story of the Great Elephant beforehand so I didn't know where your story was heading! I went back to read the original and you do an excellent job of modernizing the tale while also removing the morbid ending! I mean, that really is a brutal story no matter how heartwarming it tries to be. One of my favorite things about your story is that I am able to understand how the family feels as they're trying to cross. Your writing portrays the anxiousness and worries that the family experiences before comfortably switching to show their sadness. I wonder how the story would have changed had a guard caught him leading the family to safety, and the man had to distract the guards then and there. Either way, I really enjoyed your reimagining!
ReplyDeleteHey Jacob! I enjoyed reading your story. I thought it was interesting that you were able to tie a jataka to a modern day story. I wonder if in your story the man that sacrificed himself was Bodhisatta (Budhha); that was a great display of virtue. In both your story and in real life, the Bodhisatta character probably saved/very drastically improved the lives of the other characters. Great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Jacob,
ReplyDeleteThis story really hit my heart. Especially with climate and controversy the boarder has been at. I think you did a very great job of telling the story. One of my closest friends parents are immigrants and it reminded me of the time that I spent with them. Overall this was a really great story.
Hi Jacob!
ReplyDeleteI first wanted to say that I really enjoyed your story. I don't think I read that tale, so it was so interesting to see your modern take on it. It was such a twist when the man sacrificed himself so that the family could make it across the border. I did not see that coming! But now when he said he wouldn't need the money anymore it makes sense. He knew what would likely happen. What a intense story! The only suggestion I have is to perhaps go through and re-read the story, you have two The's in the last paragraph before the author's note. Other than that really well done, keep up the great work!
Hey Jacob! I recognized the elements of the Great Elephant, and I thought you did a really good job with the modern spin you put on it. It's important to use writing to shed light on important issues, and connecting something controversial to a children's story with a moral that's commonly taught was a cool way to do that. The only thing I was left wondering was did the man in the story get arrested or was he killed?
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was an ingenious way to retell the Great Elephant Jataka. The situation you described works so well with the original. The descriptions you used in the beginning helped the reader feel the anxieties and stress of what the family was going through. Also, since this week’s feedback theme is paragraphs, you did an excellent job dividing this up into paragraphs that flow well together and help the reader easily navigate the story. Great job!
Jacob,
ReplyDeleteReading your story I was really hoping for that happy ending and I'm so glad it ended that way. I can see how it could be controversial but I loved it. You did a great job of building up the anticipation in the story. I also think the author's note gave enough information to know what inspired the theme of your story.